I wouldn’t have watched “Mea Culpa” (aka “Tyler Perry’s ‘Mea Culpa’”) (American; 2024; “erotic” crime “thriller”; running time 2 hours; written, directed and produced by Tyler Perry; rated R for graphic nudity, strong sexual content, drug use, some violence, language; available on Netflix on Feb. 23, 2024) were it not for a review I watched on YouTube (see it at the link in the comments) that assured me that it was so awful as to be a guilty pleasure type of fun. That review was accurate. “Mea Culpa” is, indeed, awful in every way, from the wooden acting to the inane dialogue to the nonsensical script to the even more nonsensical ending to the sex scenes that were intended (I guess?) to be erotic but instead had me cackling at my TV. It’s been my experience that eroticism does not normally involve cackling. This, a drama (I guess?), might be the funniest movie Perry has ever made, his 400 or so “Madea” entries be damned.
Mea (Kelly Rowland) is a top tier attorney in Chicago. Everyone, for no obvious reason, has it out for Mea. She’s got marriage problems; husband Kal (Sean Sagar) has lost his job as an anesthesiologist for being under the influence and recently was caught holding hands with a longtime female friend but blames the rocky marriage on Mea. Kal’s mother Azalia (Kerry O’Malley) is vying for the title of worst human being in the world, but that’s OK because she has cancer, a condition we will be reminded of ad nauseum. Azalia is upfront about wanting Kal to be with that longtime friend instead of Mea, who has been supporting Kal. He has not told his mother about his unemployed status because, well, why would he? Kal’s brother Ray (Nick Sagar) is the district attorney and aspires to be Chicago’s mayor. That’s where Zyair (Trevante Rhodes, who I am not certain was awake during the filming of this movie) enters the picture. Zyair is a famous bad boy artist who has been accused of killing one of his hookups in his fancy loft, one that can be reached with an old-timey open elevator. And he lives a floor above a sex club because who among the elite doesn’t live above a sex club? Ray would very much like to raise his profile by convicting Zyair. A mutual friend suggests Zyair hire Mea to represent him. She waffles but eventually takes the case because Zyair is hot (and she has those marital problems), because she needs the money to support her and her deadbeat husband’s swanky lifestyle, and because she wants to stick it to Ray, Kal and their mother. Revenge is as good a reason as any to take on a high-profile client. A judge somehow decides the obvious conflict of interest between Mea and her brother-in-law is a-OK. Mea frequently “consults” with Zyair in his loft because it is easier to have sex there than in a law office. Will Mea get Zyair off? And vice versa, so to speak?
Every character here is slimy, except for Mea, who apparently rose to prominence as an attorney despite possessing suspect decision-making abilities. How else to explain her sleeping with her client despite him practically draping her in red flags? Sure, copious amounts of blood allegedly belonging to his alleged victim were found in his apartment, and fragments of her alleged skull were allegedly found embedded in one of his alleged paintings, but … what’s the worst that could happen by you, his legal representation, banging him? Zyair, a man so narcissistic that he surely is frustrated he can’t make love to himself, seals the deal by having Mea watch a random woman go down on him. Isn’t that always how you get the girl? When Mea and Zyair get it on, it’s pure “artistry.” And uproarious. Speaking of which, “Mea Culpa” jumps the rails in the gonzo final act like the worst of low-budget horror movies. That’s OK, because nothing in the melodramatic, plot-hole filled script makes sense, either. During the recent writers’ strike, if the Hollywood studios had wanted to push the issue of needing to use A.I. to write scripts, they could have used any of Perry’s work as Exhibit A. Then again, could A.I. produce deliciously awful trash like this? Me thinks not.
My score: 13 out of 100
