‘Because it’s Christmas’

What says holiday movie more than racism? Well, everything. “Christmas as Usual” (Norwegian; 2023; holiday rom-com-dram; running time 1 hour, 28 minutes; written and directed by Petter Holmsen, based on a true story; rated TV-14 for language; streaming on Netflix on Dec. 6, 2023) is built upon a “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” clash of cultures setup with (apparently) good intentions but includes enough uneasy moments to subvert its own feel-good holiday spirit. The laughs are too few and the holiday romcom clichés too plenty (you’ll never guess where the final scene takes place). Thea (Ida Ursin-Holm) and Jashan (Kanan Gill) live in California and have been dating for a short time when they get engaged. Thea wants him to visit her family in Norway for the holidays. Thea hasn’t bothered telling anyone that Jashan is from India and that they are engaged. Awkwardness (and worse) ensues, most of it emanating from Thea’s mother (Marit Andreassen as Anne-Lise), steadfastly clinging to Norwegian holiday traditions in the wake of her husband having died (of course) less than a year earlier. Maybe (?) Anne-Lise means well, but she clearly is troubled by her daughter’s boyfriend being Indian. She repeatedly botches his name, including calling him Shazam. Anne-Lise also is a meddler; she keeps arranging for Thea’s former squeeze, that nice White boy next door (Mads Sjogard Pettersen as Jorgen), to show up in every situation. For his part, Jashan, a sympathetic character if there ever was one, is giving it the old college try, enthusiastically embracing all things Norwegian while his fiancée stands by idly and allows her family to consistently insult him. He will reach his breaking point (at a dinner in which he gets drunk and discovers that Anne-Lise has spices in her cabinet called “Hindu” and “Black Boy”) and head to, you guessed it, the airport. Thea hasn’t previously stepped in on Jashan’s behalf “because it’s Christmas.” So when all’s forgiven at the airport, it’s because … well, it’s Christmas. Ugh.

My score: 27 out of 100.

The big switcheroo

“Family Switch” (American; 2023; holiday fantasy/comedy; running time 1 hour, 45 minutes; directed by McG, written by Chris Shafer, Victoria Strouse, Adam Sztykiel and Paul Vicknair; rated PG for teen partying, language, suggestive material, some thematic elements; streaming on Netflix on Nov. 30, 2023) isn’t a product of Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison studios, but all the elements are here – bodily fluid jokes, too many storylines (what happens when your film has four writers) with too many characters and too busy in general, frequently repeated catch phrases, a bully, nostalgic music, a “family comes first” lesson and even bloopers during the credits. It’s barely a holiday movie; it’s set at Christmastime in sunny Los Angeles, and it uses the need for a “Christmas miracle” like a throwaway plot device. Its corporate design and faux sentimentality aim to please a wide-ranging audience, but your enjoyment level will vary. Jess Walker (Jennifer Garner) and her husband Bill (Ed Helms) are dorky parents who try too hard. They are concerned that their teenage children – Emma Myers as CC, a soccer prodigy; and Brady Noon as Wyatt, a gifted science nerd – are rebellious and unhappy. The Walkers and their teens, inexplicably, have the biggest day of their lives coming up, all on the same day, and are stressed. The adults think the teens don’t appreciate how hard their lives are, and vice versa. While out together, the Walkers happen upon some sort of holiday mystic (Rita Moreno as Angelica) who, somehow, while planets are aligned, performs the big switcheroo. CC is in Jess’ body, and vice versa; ditto for Bill and Wyatt. Some (but not a lot of) hilarity ensues, and you’ve seen most everything before in genre films like “Big” and “13 Going on 30.” The Walkers will, of course, learn valuable lessons; all will get what they wanted; and they will become closer as a family. Aww. Weird moments – like a CGI baby bouncing around a house like a dog, and members of the band Weezer among the cast – could have buffered the syrupy and predictable artificial feel-goods, but no such luck.

My score: 31 out of 100.

The ‘truth’ about ‘May December’

“May December” (American; 2023; drama/dark humor; running time 1 hour, 53 minutes; directed by Todd Haynes, written by Samy Burch, based loosely on the life of Mary Kay Letourneau; rated R for sexual content, brief graphic nudity, language, drug use; in limited theaters Nov. 17, 2023, streaming on Netflix on Dec. 1, 2023) takes a delicate, strange-but-true, soap opera situation and digs deep into it, mining it for cringes and uncomfortable laughs without mocking it or passing judgement on those involved, even though nearly everyone else in the world has done just that. Haynes pulls off this high-wire balancing act with confident direction, even tone, witty dialogue, note-perfect performances and a throwback score that both enhances the drama and contributes to the laughs. “May December” is a talker, a thinking-person’s film worth dissecting and discussing while also providing the sort of titillation we’ve come to expect from far inferior Netflix offerings. It might just be the best movie of the year.

A little background: Letourneau was a 34-year-old married mother of four and sixth-grade teacher in Washington state when, in 1996, she started having a physical relationship with one of her students, Vili Fualaau, then 12 years old. Letourneau was convicted on two counts of second-degree child rape and gave birth to a daughter, Fualaau’s child, while awaiting sentencing. Letourneau served a short sentence and defied no-contact orders to resume her relationship with Fualaau. A judge revoked a prior plea agreement and reinstated a prison sentence. Letourneau gave birth to another of Fualaau’s children while in prison. They were married upon her release (when he was of age) and remained together until August 2019. Letourneau died July 6, 2020, from colorectal cancer. She was 58.

“May December” is and isn’t the story of Letourneau and Fualaau, and it is and isn’t the center of Haynes’ film. A fictionalized version of events is the launching point for what happens in the film, but Haynes and writer Burch aren’t here to rehash the story or focus merely on the what they or the audience might think of Letourneau’s and Fualaau’s inappropriate relationship. Frequent Haynes collaborator Julianne Moore plays Gracie Atherton-Yoo, a woman around age 60 (the story is set in 2015) who was part of a tabloid scandal 23 years previously. She and her husband, Joe Yoo (Charles Melton), live an idyllic life on an island off Savanah, Ga., and are preparing to become empty-nesters with the high school graduation of twins, a son and daughter. Joe, a hen-pecked husband whose wife treats him like a child, is 36 – the same age Gracie was when she began a physical relationship with Joe, then 13, when the two worked together at a local pet store. Joe is an X-ray technician whose hobby is raising monarch butterflies to replenish the world population; Gracie stays busy baking cakes for friends and neighbors. Both seem happy — “seem” being the key word. The Yoos are about to welcome mildly successful actor Elizabeth Berry (Natalie Portman) into their home because Elizabeth, who just so happens to be 36 like Joe, is preparing to play Gracie in a “serious” independent film. Elizabeth assumes the role of investigative reporter as she immerses herself in Gracie’s and Joe’s lives and interviews those who have been impacted (Gracie’s first husband, Gracie’s son who was Joe’s classmate, Gracie’s defense lawyer) by the couple’s relationship. In barely noticeable increments, Elizabeth becomes a version of Gracie, through her mannerisms, speaking voice, fashion choices and childlike naivety. How will her presence affect Gracie and Joe? Won’t it pull the scabs off old wounds? Will Joe wonder how he went from missing out on his childhood to being an empty-nester at age 36 while barely noticing?

Throughout her stay with the Yoos, Elizabeth reminds Gracie that she wants to find the “truth” in her. But what is the truth when people are lying to themselves? Gracie, even 23 years later, sees nothing wrong with what she did to her now-husband when he was 13. In turns she talks about how they were in love and that Joe, even at his young age, was the seducer and “in control” of the situation. Gracie is a world champion denier who still manipulates Joe, counting the number of beers he’s had and chiding him for leaving his butterfly habitats in the living room. But Gracie also is fragile like a child. When anything drives her toward reality, including when a cake order is canceled, she breaks down in tears, and at these times Joe becomes father-like. Joe is secretly texting a female butterfly enthusiast and eventually agrees to meet up with Elizabeth without Gracie’s knowledge. That can’t be good. If Joe and Elizabeth are going to have a thing (even a comically brief thing), is it because she likes him? Or because she is slipping into character? Haynes and Burch masterfully blur the line between what is real and an act, not only in Elizabeth’s preparation but in Joe’s and Gracie’s lives. The lines between what is and isn’t moral also are intentionally muddled. Elizabeth’s transformation into a version of Gracie is remarkable in Portman’s hands, having fully bloomed in a mesmerizing late scene in which Portman looks into the camera and recites a letter that Gracie had written Joe while she was in prison. Portman (or Elizabeth; it’s hard to say) nails the part, right down to Gracie’s subtle lisp. Portman and Moore are brilliant, especially when they are together, as their every word has meaning while they participate in subtle mental jousting. Melton is every bit their equal as Joe, who only now, because of Elizabeth’s presence, is questioning how he has spent the past 23 years. The standout among the supporting cast is Cory Michael Smith as Georgie Atherton, Gracie’s son (and Joe’s former schoolmate), a sensitive and unstable man who obviously has been affected more than anyone by what his mother did. Smith delivers a can’t-look-away performance in his scenes; his Georgie is a human ticking time bomb.

Marcelo Zarvos’ piano-and-strings score sounds old school because it is; it’s an adaptation and re-orchestration of Michel Legrand’s score for the 1971 British film “The Go-Between.” The music sounds ominous even when it’s played for laughs, like when Gracie, preparing for a cookout upon Elizabeth’s arrival, stares into her refrigerator as the camera crawls toward her and utters in all seriousness, “We don’t have enough hot dogs.” Even the film’s slimiest moments can be laughed at, like when Elizabeth visits a drama class at the local high school and gives an age-inappropriate talk on filming sex scenes and uses a breathy voice when addressing a teenage boy. Or when she visits the scene of the crime, the stock room at the pet store, and, um, puts herself in Gracie’s position (up against a wall in front of the back door) and, um, imagines what it must have been like before cracking a mischievous smile. Or in the movie-making within a movie final scene in which Elizabeth, now playing Gracie, seductively (and ominously) tells her young fellow actor (as Joe) that a snake she is holding won’t bite him because “she’s not that kind of snake.” Yep. Almost every scene ends with an awkward moment, or a seemingly thrown-away line that has real bite, or a guilty giggle. Or all three simultaneously. You might not know which. But you’re gonna think about it.

My score: 95 out of 100.

You can visit, but you can never leave

“Saltburn”

Genre: Drama/dark comedy

Country: British

Directed by: Emerald Fennell

Written by: Fennell

Starring: Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordi, Rosamund Pike, Richard E. Grant, Alison Oliver, Archie Madekwe, Carey Mulligan, Paul Rhys, Reece Shearsmith, Ewan Mitchell, Sadie Soverall, Millie Kent, Lolly Adefope, Aleah Aberdeen

Rated: R for strong sexual content, graphic nudity, disturbing violent imagery, drug use

Run time: 2 hours, 7 minutes

Release date: In wide release in theaters Nov. 22, 2023

Where I saw it: AMC Classic Columbus 12 in Columbus, Ind., on a Wednesday night, $6.98, two other people in the theater, though they left with about 45 minutes left in the movie

What it’s about: Set in England in the mid-2000s, Oliver Quick (Keoghan) is a socially awkward and bullied student at Oxford when he is befriended by Felix Catton (Elordi), the most popular student at school. Felix invites Oliver to his family’s estate, Saltburn, to spend the summer. Oliver, who comes from modest means, gets a taste of the decadent lifestyle of the idle rich and likes it, but his stay is marked by manipulation, perverted sex and violence.

What I liked about it: “Saltburn” is a wickedly twisted tale of debauchery, British social climbing, deception and manipulation. Much of it will be jolting, even to seasoned moviegoers. Fennell — whose debut feature film, 2020’s “Promising Young Woman,” was a critical and awards-season favorite – pulls no punches. Though it’s not an autobiographical story, it draws from her experiences at Oxford as it skewers social elites who have too much money and time on their hands. … This is the type of material performers can really lean into and have fun with, and the cast here does that. Keoghan, who earned an Oscar nomination for a supporting role in last year’s “The Banshees of Inisherin,” is not a likeable protagonist, especially  as his story unfolds but, then again, no one here is likeable or is supposed to be. Keoghan’s Oliver is a “scholarship boy” at Oxford who is mocked by the beautiful, popular students, but there is much more to him than Fennell originally lets on. This is especially apparent when the film takes a big turn hallway through when Felix, against Oliver’s wishes, takes him home for his birthday. Who is the bad guy here, anyway? Oliver’s behavior changes drastically once inside the lush Saltburn estate. He is becoming one of “them,” using sex to manipulate not only the women but the men. Keoghan delivers a memorable performance (perhaps not for the right reasons?) as does the rest of the cast, especially Pike, who is deliciously wicked as Felix’s mother, Elsbeth Catton. Every word out of Pike’s mouth is a dagger. Grant is hilarious as the family patriarch Sir James, who seems to be just this side (or the other side) of insanity. … I guess it’s not too early to get all nostalgic for the mid-2000s, because with music from such artists as MGMT and the Killers, “Saltburn” feels like a throwback, even though it’s throwing back to less than 20 years ago.

What I didn’t like about it: “Saltburn” is a slow burn, and I found my mind wandering until about hallway through the movie. It eventually falls into a rhythm of snarky dialogue followed by a shockingly graphic moment of sex or violence (or both) until Fennell just sort of throws everything at the audience in a final act that is a bit too explanatory and tidy and, given the pace earlier, rushed. … This type of thing has been done before (without so much shock value), the mocking of the wealthy elite whose world has been infiltrated by someone from a lower rung on the social economic ladder. “Saltburn” most obviously recalls “The Talented Mr. Ripley,” so while much here qualifies as jolting, it’s not mining new territory. … Mulligan shines but is underused as an unwanted houseguest who can’t take a hint.

Who it will appeal to: Those with patience and tolerance for shocking material

My score: 79 out of 100.

Frances grows up (sort of)

Not so long ago Greta Gerwig had a reputation as the queen of indie films and the “it girl” of the genre labeled “mumblecore” (a term she does not like). These days you can make a case for Gerwig being the queen of Hollywood. After her films “Lady Bird” (2017) and “Little Women” (2019) were showered with critical acclaim and award nominations and wins, Gerwig made a little something called “Barbie” (you might have heard of it), a summer blockbuster that has made more than a $1 billion worldwide and will no doubt dominate the next Academy Awards. That’s not a bad 1-2-3 punch for a filmmakers’ first three features. Before them, Gerwig was at the height of her indie/mumblecore film powers in “Frances Ha” (American; 2012; indie dramedy; running time 1 hour, 26 minutes; directed by Noah Baumbach, written by Baumbach and Gerwig; rated R for language, sexual references, smoking; in theaters May 17, 2013, available on VOD and streaming services), arguably the most recognizable of the mumblecore films. Gerwig, who co-wrote with real-life partner Baumbach, is a force in the title role, an overly nice 27-year-old New Yorker with an abundance of exuberance but with little direction and without a permanent home. “Frances Ha” is a film about trying to find your way in life and transitioning into responsible adult while also enjoying the ride. It’s also a platonic love story, the one of Frances (“Ha” is an abbreviation her last name, Halladay) and her college roommate and sometimes adult roommate Sophie (Mickey Sumner). This is mumblecore, so it’s going to be talky (with some of the dialogue improvised) and with natural-feeling performances and aesthetic, shot in real-life locations (in black-and-white) with minimal frills and music. Gerwig, on camera almost all the time, makes it a joy to watch.

Frances Ha is a dancer (an understudy) who struggles to pay the bills. She shares an apartment with Sophie, and the two often act like teenagers as they cavort across Brooklyn. Frances has been in a relationship, and when her boyfriend asks her to move in, she balks out of loyalty to (and a lease with) Sophie, and the two break up. But soon after, Sophie tells Frances she is moving to Tribeca, her dream neighborhood. Frances can’t afford to stay in the Brooklyn apartment by herself, so she moves in with friends Lev (Adam Driver), a sculptor and player, and Benji (Michael Zegen), an aspiring writer who has a thing for Frances even though he frequently calls her “undateable.” Frances is left out of her dance troupe’s Christmas show and can no longer afford to stay with Lev and Benji, so she heads home to Sacramento, Calif., for the holidays. Upon her return to New York, she lives a short time with fellow dancer Rachel (Grace Gummer); takes a two-day trip to Paris on a credit card she just received in the mail; turns down an offer to work in the dance troupe’s office; and goes back to Vassar, her alma mater, to work as a waitress and summer resident assistant. Sophie, in the meantime, has moved to Tokyo with her fiancée “Patch” (Patrick Heusinger), and Frances feels their friendship slipping away. Will they be able to maintain some type of relationship? Will Frances find a permanent home? And a real job?

“Frances Ha” doesn’t have much story to it. The depth is in Gerwig’s character and performance. Frances Halladay is a young woman who says “sorry” too often and masks her unhappiness with energy and flighty behavior. She often runs or bounces through the streets of New York, and she is a champion at deflecting how she really feels. She is messy but prefers to think of herself as just too busy to clean. She doesn’t so much shirk her responsibilities as much as she has faith that things will work out no matter how little effort she makes. Gerwig is great at delivering the script’s witty humor, often so seamlessly that it might be easy for it to slip past you. Frances’ relationship with Sophie has a real sense of authenticity to it. Perhaps Frances and her friends, who seem to come from privilege, should just grow up already. Still, you’ll find yourself rooting for them. Especially Frances.

My score: 87 out of 100.

No leftovers

“Thanksgiving” (2023)

Genre: Holiday slasher horror/mystery

Country: American

Directed by: Eli Roth

Written by: Jeff Rendell, based on Roth’s fictitious trailer of the same name from the movie “Grindhouse” (2007)

Starring: Patrick Dempsey, Nell Verlaque, Ty Olsson, Gina Gershon, Addison Rae, Jalen Thomas Brooks, Milo Manheim, Rick Hoffman, Tomaso Sanelli, Gabriel Davenport, Jenna Warren, Karen Cliche, Jeff Teravainen, Jordan Poole, Joe Delfin, Mika Amonsen, Shailyn Griffin, Tim Dillon, Amanda Barker, Chris Sandiford, Derek McGrath, Lynne Griffin, the voice of Adam MacDonald

Rated: R for strong violence, gore, some sexual material, pervasive language

Run time: 1 hour, 46 minutes

Release date: In theaters Nov. 17, 2023

Where I saw it: Republic Studio 10 Cinema in Shelbyville, Ind., on a Saturday afternoon, $7, one other person (my son) in the theater

What it’s about: Set in present day Plymouth, Mass., a year after a Black Friday sale at the RightMart superstore turns violent, the store is preparing for a similar sale when a figure dressed as a pilgrim and wearing a John Carver mask terrorizes the community and targets a group of teenagers through a series of social media posts.

What I liked about it: I have advocated for seeing horror movies on a weekend night with a group of young people because it makes for a better experience. My son and I saw this in an otherwise empty theater, so we missed out on the communal aspects. But that also meant we were free to react out loud, and there was much to react to. Fun, fast-paced and, oh yeah, bloody, “Thanksgiving” (“There will be no leftovers!”) is a thrill ride that’s morbidly hilarious as it pays homage to a classic teen slasher library that includes “Scream” and “I Know What You Did Last Summer.” Filmmaker Roth and writer Rendell strike a nice balance between story and gore, with the mystery and dialogue serving as breathers from the carnage. We see most theatrically released horror movies these days, but my son and I frequently were gasping, squirming in our seats and exclaiming profanities. In short, this was a blast. … Someone should make an entire horror movie from the setup, in which a mob of angry shoppers is counting down the minutes before RightMart opens for its Black Friday sale when they see a group of teenagers – including main character Jessica (Verlaque), whose father owns the store – already inside and go ballistic, storming the store and trampling everyone in their path. If you’ve ever worked for a certain big-box retailer on the Friday after Thanksgiving, you’ll know this isn’t far from reality. The real monsters walk among us. They are the greedy Black Friday shoppers. … The cast does what a slasher horror movie cast should do, which is sort of roll with it and don’t pretend this is Oscar bait while waiting to get cut up. Dempsey, as the investigating sheriff, is the anchor here. … “Where Eagles Dare” by the Misfits plays during the closing credits, and that song choice is worth a couple of points.

What I didn’t like about it: Not many complaints, mostly because I don’t want to overthink it and pick it apart. Even at first glance some parts of the story don’t make much sense (though it includes a wicked twist), but should that matter? And there’s a lot of characters to keep track of (the movie feels busy), but that just gives the killer more victims. And maybe little here reinvents the slasher movie wheel, but it’s done so well and with such exuberance that a general lack of inventiveness can be forgiven.

Who it will appeal to: Moviegoers tired of Thanksgiving leftovers

My score: 81 out of 100.

Cleaning up a city is dirty work

“The Beast of the City” (American; 1932; crime noir; running time 1 hour, 26 minutes; directed by Charles Brabin, written by W.R. Burnett, John Lee Mahin and Ben Hecht; N/R but includes violence, smoking, some sexual innuendo; in theaters Feb. 13, 1932, available on VOD services including Amazon Prime Video) must have shocked audiences 90 years ago. A pre-Code gangster film, it announces (opening with a quote from President Herbert Hoover) that it is intended to be pro-police and against the glorification of gangsters that was prevalent at the time. But the good-guy police aren’t above breaking the law, even for the wrong reasons, and the gangster life, as depicted in the film, looks glorious enough, especially if you are a gang leader untouchable by the law. The ending is brutally violent, even by today’s standards, and is what the film is most often remembered for. That and Jean Harlow, on the cusp of becoming a big star, as a sexy gangster moll who says she “doesn’t mind the rough stuff” and is suggestive with a police officer, who tells her he won’t fall for her charms even though “she has the build for it.” And, yes, he will fall for her charms. Her performance and the bluntness of the filmmaking lift “The Beast of the City” to a level above its cookie-cutter crime story.

In an unnamed city, police captain Jim Fitzpatrick (Walter Huston) is fed up with gangster Sam Belmonte (Jean Hersholt). When four murdered men are found strung up in a warehouse, Fitzpatrick brings him in. But Belmonte runs the city and has judges, the police and scared jurors in his back pocket, and he is quickly released. Fitzpatrick, a dedicated family man who is nonetheless not above using violence as a tactic, vows to do whatever it takes to make a charge against Belmonte stick, but he is transferred to a much quieter precinct. His live-in younger brother Ed (Wallace Ford) is a detective on the police force, and Jim urges him to collect intel on Belmonte’s operations. Ed’s method for doing so is to follow home Belmonte’s moll, Daisy Stevens, aka Mildred Beaumont (Harlow), and before he knows what has hit him, Ed is in tight, so to speak, with Daisy. With Belmonte’s gang running roughshod over the city, Jim Fitzpatrick is promoted to police chief. Ed, who has trouble paying for Daisy’s lavish gang lifestyle and heavy drinking, sees an opportunity for a promotion and a larger paycheck. But Police Chief Fitzpatrick is too virtuous for such favoritism. Ed gets even by tipping off Belmonte’s gang about a truck (one he is supposed to guard) loaded with money. The truck is highjacked, resulting in the death of a child and police officer. A crooked lawyer (Tully Marshall as defense attorney Michaels) gets Belmonte’s gang members and Ed off on all charges. And that’s the tipping point for Police Chief Fitzgerald, who leaves his life insurance policy where his wife can find it before leading what amounts to a suicidal shootout with the gang at Belmonte’s favorite nightclub.

The shootout is like a small-scale battlefield scene from a movie about an old war. Fitzgerald and a dozen or so officers enter the nightclub facing Belmonte and his gang. When Belmonte refuses to go all peaceful like, Fitzgerald and officers aim their handguns and open fire as they start taking steps toward Belmonte, who is firing back with his gang. Not surprisingly, no one survives. That the police chief knew how this was going to go down and did it anyway is a testament to his commitment to end Belmonte’s reign. Huston is solid as the moral compass Jim Fitzpatrick, but, like the rest of the cast, his performance frequently is ham-fisted. That’s especially true of Marshall’s defense attorney, whose closing argument to the jury is so melodramatic as to be laughable. The legal system certainly has evolved in 90 years. In one scene, Police Chief Marshall visits jail inmates just so he can remind them who is boss by calling them maggots. And the judge in the trial scene uses his closing statement to call the jurors cowards. The whole of “The Beast of the City” is blunt like that. Hey, whatever it takes to clean up the city.  

My score: 71 out of 100.

Revolution calling

“Napoleon”

Genre: Epic historical war drama

Country: American

Directed by: Ridley Scott

Written by: David Scarpa, based on the life of French military commander and ruler Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Vanessa Kirby, Ben Miles, Tahar Ramin, Ludivine Sagnier, Ian McNeice, John Hollingworth, Paul Rhys, Youseff Kerkour, Phil Cornwell, Matthew Needham, Edouard Philiopponnat, Rupert Everett, Catherine Walker, Gavin Spokes, Mark Bonnar, Anna Mawn, Davide Tucci, Sam Crane, Scott Handy

Rated: R for graphic violence, grisly images, brief language, sexual content

Run time: 2 hours, 38 minutes

Release date: In wide release in theaters Nov. 22, 2023

Where I saw it: The IMAX theater at AMC Showplace 17 on the southside of Indianapolis, on a Thursday (Thanksgiving) afternoon, $13.79, about 30 other people in the theater

What it’s about: Follows the rise of Napoleon Bonaparte (Phoenix) to power during the French Revolution and his victories and defeats on the battlefield while also exploring his volatile but lasting relationship with Joséphine (Kirby), his first wife.

What I liked about it: This is a grand movie that covers much ground (perhaps too much; see below) and is a riveting drama (with touches of wry sense of humor) about a fascinating and complicated central character. This is a fictional story based on historical events and characters and not a documentary (you’ll know that when you see the Napoleon-led French military use cannons to blow the tops off the Egyptian pyramids, which of course did not happen) but sticks closely to Napoleon’s life and career, giving it a sense of legitimacy even though it’s clear filmmaker Scott was having fun with this. Though it might have been better served focusing on one angle, Scott deftly melds three stories – the relationship between Napoleon and Josephine, battleground scenes and political negotiating and posturing. France was in turmoil early in the 19th century, and Scott’s movie captures the sense that France and its military leader were at a crossroads, their decisions shaping not only the future of France but the rest of civilization. … Phoenix manages to interject emotion (other than the ones associated with narcissism) into Napoleon even though he is mostly stone-faced throughout. Napoleon, if history got it right, was an insecure man, a brilliant battlefield strategist, a bit of a weirdo and a man who dearly loved France. Phoenix peels away Napoleon’s layers and delivers the type of entertaining performance you would expect. Kirby is his equal as a widower who is drawn to Napoleon’s power but pays a terrible price for it. The thread about Napoleon’s and Josephine’s relationship is the strongest part of Scott’s movie. … The script’s sense of humor keeps this from becoming too weighty and balances out the grisly images during the pull-no-punches battle scenes (forewarned: harm comes to animals) and public beheadings. Among the funnier moments: When Josephine mocks Napoleon for becoming fat, he replies that he enjoys eating and that “Destiny put me here with these lamb chops.” And when government officials raid the quarters of the overweight Louis XVIII (McNeice) during a meal and he exclaims, “But I’m enjoying a succulent breakfast!” Or when Josephine, trying to win over Napoleon, sits in a chair across from him and spreads her legs to, umm, show him what’s in it for him, so to speak.

What I didn’t like about it: It tries to cover too much ground from too many different angles in too short a time (even at 158 minutes). It felt like an entire movie could have been (and should have been) devoted to Napoleon’s relationship with Josephine. This movie feels like an overview of a more focused and comprehensive TV series. … Though the battles are well-staged and shot, only one of them, on a snow-covered lake, felt like more than high-volume chaos. Granted, that’s war. It’s just that the battle scenes, except the aforementioned one, didn’t register on a “wow!” level. … Again, this isn’t a documentary, but I wondered why many of the French characters spoke English without an accent, but characters from other countries spoke also mostly in English but with an accent.

Who it will appeal to: History and war buffs.

My score: 78 out of 100.

Strong performances, weaker story

“Reptile” (American; 2023; crime drama; running time 2 hours, 16 minutes; directed by Grant Singer, written by Singer, Benjamin Brewer and Benicio del Toro; rated R for language, violence, some nude images; in limited theaters Sept. 22, 2023, streaming on Netflix on Sept. 29, 2023) should have applied the brakes, because for the first 90 minutes it’s a tense, moody, stylish criminal investigation story with potential driven by a compelling performance by del Toro as a world-weary detective trying to do the right thing in a situation gone wrong. But the slow-moving “Reptile” overstays its welcome (like a lot of Netflix movies), becomes more tangled and incoherent with too many characters the longer it goes on, and falls back on enough clichés that it ends up being a been there, done that story that is saved only by del Toro’s efforts and those of the supporting cast.

Del Toro is Tom Nichols, a detective whose past in Philadelphia has landed him in Maine. He has a sullen exterior but likes to have a good time. His nickname is “Oklahoma” because he and his wife (Alicia Silverstone as Judy Nichols) enjoy square dancing. We meet Tom Nichols when he starts investigating the brutal murder of a young real estate agent Summer Elswick (Matilda Lutz), who was found dead by her boyfriend (Justin Timberlake as Will Grady) in the home they shared. Let the complications begin. Will had planned to marry Summer, only she was, technically, still married to Sam Gifford (Karl Glusman), a strange man who deals heroin. Summer had been selling homes but not earning a commission because her earnings were going to a shell company called White Fish being run by Will Grady and his controlling mother (Frances Fisher as Camille Grady). Will is, of course, the first suspect in his girlfriend’s mother. But there are others, including Summer’s ex and a weird local man (Michael Carmen as Eli Phillips) who is a sort of law enforcement groupie. One of the suspects will die in a police-action shooting, complicating matters even more. Detective Nichols has plenty of help cracking the case from new partner Dan Cleary (Ato Essandoh). He also enjoys camaraderie with others on the force (“Reptile” is about evenly divided between the investigation and officers hanging out and discussing the case), including Capt. Robert Allen (Eric Bogosian), who is hiding a health condition from the others; and Wally (Domenick Lombardozzi) who wants to start a security firm. At times Nichols’ partners seem disinterested in pursuing leads. That’s weird.

We’re familiar with the sort of character del Toro is playing, but he breathes life into it as a detective driven by morality despite his past missteps. A situation during the investigation will test his commitment, but he never wavers. The same can’t be said of his loyalty to his fellow officers. The situation becomes overwhelming, but Silverstone’s Judy helps keep her husband grounded. Del Toro’s performance is measured but more effective for it. Timberlake is just the right amount of slimy as Will, a business-first man who moves on suspiciously quickly after the murder of his girlfriend. Essandoh and Bogosian also stand out among what amounts to an ensemble cast. The movie’s tone matches the somber façade of del Toro (who co-wrote and produced) before it spirals into a mess in the third act. A moment in which two officers have handguns pointed at each other is resolved in such a ridiculous manner that it borders on laugh out loud. Given the level of performances, especially from del Toro, it’s unfortunate that the makers of “Reptile” couldn’t come up with a clearer, more inventive and far more interesting way for the story to unfold.

My score: 58 out of 100.

You won’t see me on Venus

This is a review of the first 17 minutes of “See You on Venus” (American; 2023; teen romantic drama; running time 1 hour, 35 minutes; directed by Joaquin Llamas, written by Victoria Vinuesa, based on the 2023 YA novel of the same name by Vinuesa; rated TV-PG for fear, mild thematic material; in limited theaters July 23, 2023, streaming on Netflix on Nov. 17,  2023) because that’s the point when I threw my hands up and said, “Enough!” or, more accurately, some sort of profanity. This felt like a Lifetime channel reject 30 seconds in and didn’t improve over the next 16 minutes or so, and I assume was not going to become more tolerable over the course of the next 78 minutes. The amateurish performances, the inane dialogue, the absurd story and the annoying pop music added up to a film that surely wouldn’t appeal to anyone beyond age 12.

Kyle (Alex Aiono) is a high school senior with soccer scholarship offers, but he is sad, and we learn why in a flashback. He was the driver in a car crash that killed one of his buddies and badly injured another. He has been avoiding his bed-ridden friend (Alex Astort-Fabra as Josh), and when he finally pays him a visit, Josh’s mother – and keep in mind Kyle is a guilt-ridden teenager who has just lost a friend – reminds Kyle that he needs to feel awful about what happened. Despondent, Kyle walks to the nearest state park, where he plans to jump off a cliff and end it all. As it just so happens … Mia (Virginia Gardner), a teenager from a foster family, is at that same state park. And when she sees Kyle standing on a ledge, she shouts out at him, runs toward him, trips on rocks and is apparently knocked out. I say “apparently” because Mia is faking being unconscious because everything she does reeks of dishonesty. Kyle discovers that not only is Mia a scam artist, but she is annoying. Sounds like a potential romance for two misfits, right? Mia does a little online stalking and then pays Kyle and his family a visit, lying to the parents about being his friend and using a foster sister to pretend to be her mother on the phone to vouch for her. Mia forces Kyle to play along with her ruse, then – and keep in mind Mia and Kyle have interacted for just a couple of minutes in their lives – demands that Kyle come with her for 10 days in Spain. That’s when I decided to bail.

Barring inexplicable improvement or a wicked twist that this film didn’t seem capable of, nothing in the last 78 minutes would have saved this. Even a light, feelgood movie billing itself as a drama needs some sense of believability, but nothing in this felt remotely real. Gardner’s Mia is (at least in the setup) a classic manic pixie dream girl, one who is impulsive, weird and fun (if you find dishonesty fun) who exists only to save the male protagonist, in this case quite literally. Maybe the grief and depression clouded his judgement, because even a teen like Kyle would have sized up Mia quickly and then ran as far away as quickly as possible instead of, say, getting on a plane with her for Spain (I assume Kyle did that because the movie wouldn’t have lasted another 78 minutes if he had stayed home). I would say that I hope Kyle and Mia accomplished whatever she was wanting to accomplish in Spain and the two found true love. But nothing in the first 17 minutes gave me a reason to care what happened beyond that.

My score: Incomplete