“Humane” (Canadian/American; 2024; dystopian horror/political satire; running time 1 hour, 34 minutes; directed by Caitlin Cronenberg, written by Michael Sparaga; rated R for strong violence and language; in Canadian theaters on April 26, 2024, available on VOD and streaming services, including Shudder) starts with an intriguing, too-close-to-home concept and then doesn’t much know what to do with it. It’s not biting enough to pull off the intended satire and instead settles for violent family drama that is average in its best moments. The film is sporadically fun, but not enough to make it a must-watch. In the near future, the world has gone to hell because of climate change. The sun’s rays are too powerful for human exposure, and the food and water supply is compromised. To remedy the situation, nations have agreed to reduce their populations, at first taking volunteers who can “enlist” and be compensated ($250,000, which surely wouldn’t be hefty sum in the future). Charles York (Peter Gallagher), a former (and weathy) TV news broadcaster, and his second wife Dawn (Uni Park) have “agreed” to enlist and have invited Charles’ awful adult children – Jay Baruchel as Jared, Emily Hampshire as Rachel, Sebastian Chacon as Noah and Alanna Bale as Ashley – to announce their plans. An already tense situation gets worse when Dawn runs off. The crew carrying out the agreed-to killings, led by Bob (Enrico Colantoni), is not leaving Charles’ home without two bodies. That leaves Charles’ offspring to fight it out among themselves. Many movies have done this sort of thing (the awful elite getting what they “deserve”) much better, including “The Menu” and “Ready or Not.” The humor is so-so (Colantoni has some fun moments as a man who enjoys his work too much). The visual horror doesn’t arrive until late in the game and is limited to the four trying to kill each other but failing as to prolong the story. A world in which governments must reduce the population because we have so badly damaged the planet feels uncomfortably close. And that’s the scariest part of this movie.
My score: 54 out of 100.
***
“Starry Eyes” (American; 2014; horror; running time 1 hour, 38 minutes; written and directed by Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer; rated TV-MA for strong violence, gore, some drug use, nudity; made debut at South by Southwest festival on March 8, 2014, available on VOD and streaming services, including Shudder) tells us what we already know, that the Hollywood elite are a Satanic cult who make desperate young women sell their souls in return for fame, but only after they’ve made certain sacrifices, that is gone on a bloody killing spree. At least it’s fun to think that’s true. “Starry Eyes” plays like a satire of how awful trying to make it in Hollywood can be, then throws a switch and becomes a slasher horror movie that isn’t much interested in anything but a body count. It’s more interested in gore than social commentary. Alexandra Essoe is Sarah Walker, a young aspiring actor who has grown tired of failed auditions and her fast-food job. She hangs with an awful group of wannabe movie folks. She auditions for a horror movie called “The Silver Scream” (get it?). She fails but then throws a tantrum in the restroom, witnessed by the casting director, who wants Sarah to replicate it for her and her assistant. She gets a call back and is asked to undress for a part that does not require nudity. Huh-oh. Next thing you know she’s invited to the house of a creepy old handsy producer (Louis Dezseran as “The Producer”) who seems mighty devilish. He can make Sarah a star if, you know, she does certain things. She does, and soon Sarah is losing her hair, oozing blood and vomiting worms, because that’s how stardom works. It gets worse, especially when Sarah gets ahold of a knife and a weightlifting dumbbell. Essoe, who has a certain Shelley Duvall quality (she played Wendy Torrance, Duvall’s character in “The Shining,” in the 2019 sequel “Doctor Sleep”) is a force in a challenging role, one in which she goes from pathetically desperate to maniacally assured and psychopathic. Joining a cult will do that to a person.
My score: 63 out of 100.
